Islam: The Incel's Paradise on Earth

As they function today, it seems fair to say that incel—an abbreviation for “involuntary celibate,”—men are essentially Nice Guys on steroids. Nice Guys, who are angry because their Niceness doesn’t get them anywhere near young, naked, willing women. Incels “suffer” from a lack of available sex from women of their choosing, and as a result, they consider themselves victims of a hateful, sex-hogging society.

“Incels” make up a relatively new community, but their ideology is not as brand new as it seems. There have always been men who resent the world—specifically women, and most especially the ones they are attracted to—for their sexual needs and their own inability to satisfy them. There have always been men who lament the days of “old,” when they imagine that most women weren’t dirty whores, like they are “now.” (This seems to be a rather timeless train of thought.) There have always been men who believe that the ideal woman is the one who is delicately beautiful and completely untouched, waiting for one man to unwrap and deflower her and keep her to himself forever and ever, and if society would just let him have her already...

A depiction of the average incel when reminded of women who have agency over their bodies and lives. Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash.

Incels are the men who are unashamed of their belief that women should be reduced to second-class citizens and their deeper belief that their hatred and resentment of women is morally justified.

Muslim men, as taught by Islam, are no different. I am often stunned by the similarities that can be observed between Islamic and incel rhetoric, particularly when it comes to their view of women.

Though marriage is not compulsory in Islam, it is strongly encouraged. With that in mind, the prophet said that the woman who arranges her own marriage is an “adulteress.” It is of the utmost importance in Islam that male guardians are present to make the final decisions of a marriage between a man and a woman. It isn’t difficult to see how these rules play out: to the average Muslim man, women (Muslim or not) are disposable. There is no exception to the perceived crudeness of a woman taking control over her own life, including her desire to have a say in her romantic life.

Often, Muslim men will date women (again, Muslim or not), but once it is time to get married and start a family, they will discard these wenches and replace them with a Godly Muslim woman, a sweet virgin-girl who wouldn’t dare speak directly to a non-mahram¹, much less sleep with one. To the Muslim man, his Muslim community, and Allah, a woman may simply be one or the other: a God/man-fearing virgin or a confident whore. In other words, Islam believes that it is egregiously arrogant for a woman to expect to have both personal choice and respect from her community.

Much like the incel, the average Muslim man is immensely obsessed with virginity. To both of these ideologies, a woman’s virginity represents many things and comes in many forms. A woman’s virginity is her cleanliness and purity, her value, and even one of her contributions to a relationship. A woman’s virginity isn’t only her lack of sexual activity, but it is also her quietness, smallness, and docile nature. An opinionated virgin won’t do a man any good, nor would an independent one.

There is also the entitlement. The belief that a small, quiet, pretty virgin is one of the God-given rights to man, and the world is upside down if our governments and societies do not honor this right. This entitlement is not necessarily just for the healthy man, or the kind man, or the rich man, or even the Godly man. It is simply for the man. They believe that if this right was acted upon, the world would be a better place. Men wouldn’t need to rape women (marital rape isn’t a thing to either of these groups; a man has sexual needs and it is his woman’s job to appease him) and women’s innate feminine charm would end wars (or something like that).

In the mind of incels and Muslim men: man, by virtue of being the stronger, smarter, and more rational sex, is as entitled to this virgin-girl as he is to a roof over his head. Just as incels believe that their government must provide them with sex with beautiful women by any means necessary (including providing tax-funded sexual services, as if women were equal to unemployment checks or food stamps), Islam creates the groundwork to allow Muslim men to marry women of their choosing without so much as a peep from the woman. His partnership is her destiny.²

So obsessed with virginity is Islam that Allah promises each Muslim man Houris (beautiful, virgin, woman-like spirits) upon his arrival to paradise. If Islam was less rigid, I believe that incels would sign up for it in the hundreds. They would have their earth-wife (or wives if they please) handpicked for them by their parents (it is extremely common for Muslim men to have physical and/or personality requests³ for their future bride), and Houris waiting for them in heaven. Mashallah.

This character was created by Islam and Incels, this virgin-girl: she is a human in nothing but her body. She has no right to feelings, opinions, or desires of her own. She was conceived so that she could be a warm touch for a man someday. The mother of his children, the Queen and the Servant of his home, but never her own person.

On an incel forum, one incel comments, “no guy would be an incel if the world was Islamic.” In many aspects, the ideologies are one and the same in their ideals of male supremacy. Therefore, I believe the opposite of what he said: if the world was Islamic, all guys would be contented incels.

1. In Islam, a mahram is someone that one cannot legally marry, like a brother. Therefore, a non-mahram is someone whom one could potentially marry, so they must be careful to cover their awra (private parts) from this person.

2. Some Muslim fathers care about their daughter’s happiness and willingness to choose a partner. However, this comes from the kindness and decency of individual men, and this consideration for the woman’s feelings is not required nor particularly encouraged by Allah, his prophet, nor many modern-day Islamic leaders.

3. Some features I’ve personally witnessed Muslim men requesting, as told to me by their sisters and mothers: (physical features) green eyes, thin body, curvy body, short, light skin, big lips. (traits) High School Diploma, doesn’t work, has a job but earns less money than him, excellent cook, enjoys dressing up/wearing makeup, doesn’t enjoy dressing up/wearing makeup, fully covered hijabi.