Welcome to Haram Politics. I am Tamata, an ex-Muslim feminist. I am happy to announce that I am currently immigrating to the United States. I have set up a fundraiser on GoFundMe (that you can visit here) to receive help with immigration-related payments that I must make in the upcoming months. I am humbled by the donations I’ve received so far and excited to have begun this journey. Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy this post.
This is part five of the Islam vs. Women series. Click here to read part four.
But Zehra’s mother was pleased that Zehra did not have any suitors. She thought it a blessing that, in this putrid world, girls who weren’t pretty were preserved from the evil eye by God. Praising a girl’s beauty was regarded as disrespectful, but praising her plainness was a compliment. Since childhood Zehra had grown used to being complimented on her plainness but deep down in her heart she suffered grievously for thinking herself ugly, and although outwardly she gave the impression that she was content to receive so much praise, inwardly she knew that the praise for her plainness was hypocritical. When the time came for the women — who attended their Zekeriya meals and raved about Zehra’s culinary skills — to select brides for their sons, they always chose the attractive girls with nice figures.
Excerpt from Ayse Onal’s 2008 book, Honor Killing: Stories of Men Who Killed
There seems to be a common misunderstanding that girls and women in the Muslim world do not have to deal with the “beauty problem” that the rest of the world imposes on the female sex. This misunderstanding may occur because it’s difficult to imagine such an array of problems with the female body in one single society, or perhaps because one cannot understand how covering one’s beauty for the sake of modesty could allow such problems to thrive rather than automatically eradicate them.
In reality, the Islamic patriarchy has more than enough space for harmful and offensive ideas about girls and women, with little concern for the glaring contradictions that take place within these expectations. I would argue that the extensive measures Islamic societies’ take to preserve the modesty and sexual purity of their girls means that they must care about their beauty as well.
The hijab, of course, has heavy implications for the wearer’s beauty as well as the social and moral consequences of possessing such beauty. For the sake of this discussion, it is important to point out that in the wider context of Islamic teachings, the word “hijab” may not explicitly mean the headscarf. Technically, Muslim men have their own “hijab” (“lowering their gaze” and covering their genitals), and so the word hijab can also be interpreted as a woman covering some parts of her body that she deems immodest (which may or may not include her hair).
Though Muslims routinely deny the validity of this implication, it is quite clear that the idea of “modesty” in the context of this sex-obsessed faith is tied to the expectation of the woman to hide her inherent and assumed beauty. This obsessive fear of women’s attractiveness is encouraged by the belief that the woman could be the fall of mankind if she is not as obscured as possible from the public eye.
Before leaving the faith of Islam, I was very frustrated with what I perceived to be my community’s hypocrisy surrounding women's appearance. If we women were hiding our hair and bodies—ever since we were small children, long before we had women’s sinful curves—and we weren’t allowed to acknowledge the existence of non-mahrams1 as they were not allowed to acknowledge ours, then why was my mother obsessed with getting my whole body waxed at least once a month since I was 12 years old? Absolutely nobody but myself was looking at my legs. Why did she take me to Victoria’s Secret, of all places, to buy underwear? I was excited about the high-quality, American-brand clothes, but I found this exception to the modesty rule to be very bizarre. She even let me buy a push-up bra! Years later, I would talk to Muslim and ex-Muslim women and find that my experience was not unique. I believe that this is a subtle method of grooming of the Muslim girl: though she is taught to not explore, engage with, nor express her sexuality, she is taught to keep a sexy checklist of sorts in preparation for her future husband. After all, even a pious Muslim man doesn’t want a complete prude for a wife.
I was frustrated, of course, because I thought Islam discouraged this obsession with beauty. What was the emphasis on modesty for, then, if not to be as humble and content as one could manage? Waxing my legs and straightening my curly hair seemed to be the opposite of being content with what Allah gave me.
Islam’s premise of every woman being beautiful, therefore having to obscure it, adds to the already muddled feelings that plague any woman living in this patriarchal world that is riddled with lookism. Ugly—or as is more common, conventionally unattractive—women are confused: if I am not beautiful, and everybody is aware of it, and everybody reminds me of it, then what exactly am I hiding? On the opposite end, conventionally attractive women may ask themselves: if I am beautiful, and everybody is aware of it, and everybody reminds me of it, then why am I attempting to hide it? Some people argue that Islamic modesty values even the playing fields for women’s social status as regarded by their physical appearance, but one will find that in practice, Islamic modesty values simply propagate feelings of competition, resentment, and low self-esteem amongst the girls and women of these communities.
Furthermore, on top of this typically-male premise that erases undesirable women and reduces desirable ones to mere trophies, Allah and his prophet Mohammed are not forgiving towards women who attempt to enhance or maintain their looks.
There are two texts that are commonly referred to on the topic of women’s beauty rituals:
Narrated Ibn Umar: “Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said, ‘Allah has cursed such a lady as lengthens (her or someone else’s) hair artificially or gets it lengthened, and also a lady who tattoos (herself or someone else) or gets herself tattooed.’” (Sahih al-Boukhari 5937)
Muslim scholars often interpret this hadith to mean that “unnecessary” procedures that alter one’s appearance are haram if one is female. A similar hadith exists that mentions other beauty rituals, such as “[plucking] hair from their faces,” and “[making] spaces between their teeth.” Though the prophet specifically mentioned a small number of beauty procedures, it is often assumed that more things are not mentioned simply because they did not exist at the time (such as lipstick).
In the Quran, Chapter 4, Verses 116-119, Allah speaks of people who worship “female deities.” These “female deities” are Satan in disguise. Satan will lead these people to hell by ordering them to do things that are sinful in Islam. One of these things is “[altering] Allah’s creation.”
Many Islamic scholars tie together these two texts. Therefore, they conclude that beauty rituals are considered “altering Allah’s creation,” as there is an implication that when one changes their appearance, they are claiming that Allah made a mistake when He created them.
As I pondered this irregularity between the Islamic texts and my mother's insistence on me being sexually consumable for nobody at all, I watched as cosmetic surgery began gaining popularity with the masses. Women who had previously said that cosmetic surgery procedures were haram turned right around when laser hair removal, facelifts, and rhinoplasties became affordable. Women were now “fixing” their perceived appearance flaws and booking appointments for blepharoplasties along with their Moroccan bath and manicure dates. Muslim girls and women who had no intentions of having premarital sex nor planned to marry in the near future would spend money on Brazilian laser hair removal.
Meanwhile, the men were dismayed, but suddenly and indeed curiously, their hands were tied. They had no problem forcing the women in their lives to cover their hair or bodies, quit their jobs, marry before they are ready, marry a man that they are not interested in, bear children, and so on, but these cosmetic surgeries—that these men were in agreement with Islamic scholars of being haram—were viewed as superficial but not unforgivable.
Only after I had left the faith did I realize that this desire and encouragement to be beautiful despite standards of modesty was not hypocritical at all and in fact fell perfectly in line with the subjugation of women in the Muslim world. The truth is that Islam contradicts itself, and in order for it to simply exist, some ideas may prevail upon others, causing the “other” ideas to generally be ignored.
Islam unabashedly turns women into objects for men's possession and consumption. For instance, the Islamic dowry, while perhaps in the past had a helpful use as a form of life insurance, now serves as an outdated practice that functions as a price tag on a bride-to-be. Or we could look at the practice of polygyny- are women not viewed as replaceable, even collectible when one man may have up to four wives (so long as he can afford them)?
Indeed, the “hijabi baddies” that confused me so much before now made complete sense. The modesty of the Muslim woman is not the humility of the heart, in that she may be humbled before her all-mighty Allah and his prophet. Rather, it is a tool of extraction of her perceived power over man, which is her erotic, unholy, filthy body. The woman was made by Allah for the sexual consumption of man. Therefore, she must regulate herself so that humans are not confined to a life of never-ending orgies. What she can do to amend this shameless existence is modify her behavior and appearance in order to stay in her lane as Allah intended: cover yourself, girl, and show that you are a valuable prize to be won once it is your time to be uncovered by the Godly man who bought you.
Click here to read Islam vs. Women: Motherhood (Part Six).
In Islam, a mahram is someone that one cannot legally marry, like a brother. Therefore, a non-mahram is someone whom one could potentially marry, so they must be careful to cover their awra (private parts) from this person.
It seems that you resent Islam for Muslims being hypocritical contrary to their faith, as you yourself quote many sources that seem to reject beautification, but in the same breath you blame the faith for them going against it? That doesn’t seem to compute.